Lessons from the Underground

          "Who wants to go for a walk UNDERGROUND in a musty, NARROW, dark tunnel that gets little outside air…for fun?"  That’s probably not what he really said but that’s what I heard & pictured as the tour guide offered this glorious experience through the underground tunnels of Jerusalem. No thanks! I immediately gravitated toward the group that was heading the opposite way of the tunnel. Claustrophobia & I have become acquainted the past few years & I avoid the relationship at all costs. As I walked or maybe sprinted away I saw the word TRUST flash in my head. Ugh...

          See instead of making a New Years Resolution this year, I did the One Word 365 challenge & after praying about what word I needed to embrace this year I chose the word TRUST. I have, in the past, made too many decisions out of fear which has not gone so well for me and so I thought this will be the year of TRUST. An Israel trip fit nicely into this TRUST year! Even just to make the trip over there I had to trust. I normally would've questioned going & possibly not gone for fear of my kids being ok while I’m gone almost 2 weeks, fear of the turmoil in Israel, what if I die leaving my kids parentless, what if the 13 hour plane ride is too much for me with my rod in my back & so on & so on. This was the year to practice saying NO to those kinds of thoughts that are rooted in nothing but fear. 

          So I went to Israel & here I was faced with another opportunity to trust & do something that I knew in my gut I needed to do to continue the practice of overcoming those old ways. And so I went for it & joined the tunnel goers. As we filed in I positioned myself towards the end of the line thinking just in case I black out & faint not too many people would have to witness it. We started walking & about 2 minutes in I was doing so good! I was overcoming & owning this new trust thing & pretty much conquering! As I walked on I realized that I hadn’t actually looked up yet. I was looking down, focusing on each step, one after the other. So I decided to take my gaze off of my feet & look up. The tunnel was VERY LONG & WAY more narrow than I’d realized up to now. Just as I was beginning to notice how tight the walls actually were & how long the tunnel really was, the line stopped…we just were all standing single file, underground in this small musty tunnel NOT MOVING. I felt my face getting warm & my heart starting to pound faster & faster. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. I began getting lightheaded & I told Dave I don’t think this was such a great idea. I was beginning to freak out a little…inside my head. God knew what He was doing when He happened to place the worship leader for our church directly behind me in line. Jonathan overheard me telling Dave about my impending fainting spell so he started to sing worship songs & I joined along. I could breathe again & so I looked down at my feet & continued on. 

          I realized when I looked down at where I was at THAT MOMENT & took the next step, then the next, just one step after the other, I was ok. It was when I started to look ahead too much at the narrow road before me wondering how long it would be, how tight it would get, what kind of twist & turns it would take that I would start to freak out. God spoke to me in that moment & said thats what you do in life. When you embrace & focus on today & take the next step I tell you, do the next right thing, you have peace & make good decisions. But when you look ahead to the unknown future, what about next month, next year with work, money, the kids & their future, & life & so on…it creates a freak out & panic & in my case I will just start to shut down, feel overwhelmed & make decisions out of fear rather than trust. 

          What a beautiful word picture & practical life lesson He gave me there in that dark, musty old tunnel. This analogy has helped me SO much even in the past few weeks that I have been back. When I start to think about tomorrow or next month or year in a fearful way I think back to that tunnel & I remember to trust Him with what lies ahead & He will give me direction & let me know what step to take next & then next after that & so on. The photo below was taken at the end of the tunnel when I was so stoked that I didn't faint or totally freak out. Yay I did it!