Freedom + Flight

I’ve learned a valuable lesson recently, one that is rarely taught to us growing up.  As kids we experience all kinds of hurt & loss throughout the years. Whether it be our parents splitting up, friends rejecting us or just feeling empty & alone.  Whenever I would go through these times of hurt & sadness I was immediately told, “Don’t cry Sam, it’ll be ok." or  “Just look on the bright side.” It sort of felt like I was to avoid at all costs feeling down or experiencing heartache of any kind. People mean well & to be honest I’m sure I’ve said those very same things to my kids.

Recently though, I've discovered that it’s ok to cry, even helpful & healing sometimes.  It’s alright to let myself have a day or two, sometimes three, where I’m not ok.  I've seen the growth & beauty in letting myself feel sad, mad or even confused. The times in my life that I have been completely undone & had the most intense struggle are the times where I have grown the most & have gained qualities that I don’t believe I could’ve gained in any other way.

So now when my kids come to me with a heartache or struggle I am not quick to dry their eyes & figure out how we’re gonna fix it. I allow them to experience the hurt, cry the tears, feel the pain, knowing that this will bring the growth, strength & healing that I so want for them.

Here’s a story that it explains it beautifully….

The Butterfly & the Cocoon

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. He took it home so that he could watch the butterfly come out of the cocoon. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man, in his kindness, decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. 

Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were God's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings, so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Freedom and flight would come only after the struggle. By depriving the butterfly of this struggle, he deprived it of health & wholeness. 

Your darkest hours, your deepest pains, your most lonely nights. These are the moments, the seasons even, where you are strengthening your wings for your own freedom and flight. Sit back, let yourself cry, feel and just be undone for a minute, even when it's uncomfortable and painful. I think you'll be surprised to see the beauty, strength & transformation that come from letting yourself experience the struggle.